The One with “Macher Jhol”

Prologue: Previous post

For the Non Bengalis, it means Fish Curry and for the “Bhodro Lok”- “Aami bhalo kore bangla bolte jaani”
It was sweet November, when Sreyan(the fearless Bengali, very uncommon), comes to me-
“Maach khava onek din hoye gache”(It has been ages since we had fish).
Pat comes my reply- “Bayre jete hobe, ki bhabe jabo?”(we’ll have to go outside. How?)
We were not allowed to go outside the hostel campus w/o permission and we’re very sure Oxy is not going to grant any.
“Paaliye jabo”(we’ll escape)- Sreyan was ready with the plan.
We persuaded Gillu, the timid Bengali(more common) to join us.
“Escaping is such a shameful act”- Mahatma Gillu declared.
“What if we treat you with “Ilees Maach”(considered to be elixir among Bengalis)”?- Sreyan cajoled.
“We won’t get caught na”? He couldn’t refuse the bright prospect of fish and that too free. Gillu never heard our response, as he plunged in to his dreams, where world was full of Ilees mach.
So, we escaped somehow, caught bus and reached Safdarjung. Sreyan knew a roadside dhaba which offered delicious fish curry. After a sumptuous meal of rice and fish, we bought some stationery items. By that time, fear started creeping inside Gillu. He was worried about his neighborhood aunties back in Farakka, mocking at him for this disgraceful act. We managed to calm him down. But, nearer the hostel we reach, more restless Gillu was getting. So, after reaching the near school campus, we decided that I and Sreyan will enter the hostel through sports complex’s gate, as there’s no security guard near it. If we find everything fine, we would give the green signal to Gillu, who till that time has to remain concealed. Only hitch was that around 5 pm, oxy passes through sports complex gate.
I’m not sure of the time, but as luck had it, Oxy caught us right at the gate. We started with our tailor-made excuses-“We just went to school campus, sir. One of our friends gave these stationery items.” Although Oxy was threatening us with dire consequences, we were sure that we’ll somehow manage the situation. But then comes, out of the blue, a teary-eyed, shivering Gillu-“Sir, please forgive us this time. We’ll never go outside to eat fish." Shit happened right in front of us. Oxy can’t tolerate lies.
“Pack up your bags and meet Dr. Saini in night. We don’t keep absconders in our hostel”. Fatwa had been issued.
This was our WTF moment. Cognizance struck us hard “Two is a company, three is a crowd”. I and Sreyan decided to kill Gillu, run away and open a dhaba selling fish curry and gillu fry.
Comes dinner time, we’re standing near mess gate. Word had already spread, and all the morons were entering with “have-your-last-dinner-in-this-mess” look. And then the hangman Dr. D R Saini arrives, gives us “you-are-so-dead” look and claps for everyone’s attention. He gave a cliched half an hour speech about DPS, RKP hostel, its heritage, a good hosteler and assured everyone that offenders would be punished. He branded us die-hard criminals in front of mess workers, gave a short “God-is-watching-you” speech, made everyone believe that we’ll go to hell. He then took our parents’ phone number and asked us to leave by tomorrow morning. By that time, mess was almost empty.
All of a sudden, Sreyan fell to Saini’s knees and started begging for clemency. Gillu and I understood Sreyan’s ploy, appreciated his genius and joined him in our “We’ll-never-do-it-again” wailing act. Although, it wasn’t pre-planned, but the severity of situation made it look so authentic that Saini almost believed he’s the creator of universe. Saini got emotional, (don’t know why)a sense of déjà vu engrossed him and with his soft voice he said-“Go my childs(he often used that). Never do it again”
With our tears evaporated in ether, we came out of the mess and burped in unison. Fish curry was getting digested. We thanked Sreyan for his spontaneity(Gillu hung around his neck and even tried to kiss him) and came back to our rooms head held high. Grapevine had it that, we bribed Saini with Rs 10,000 each.
Nevertheless, that was just the beginning of countless escapades which we had afterward, with Gillu and Sreyan being part of the endeavor most of the times. Gillu even went on to break all possible records in absconding. And yeah, we never got caught.....