My Train Journey Part-III

I woke up at 7:00 am, so relaxed and chilled out. Only two more hours to go.....err......How come this aunty is still here?? She was to get down at Allahabad Junction. How come Allahabad hasn’t come yet?? With all the horrible thoughts hovering inside my mind, I came down form upper berth. I was desperately hoping that she has missed her station. I told her the same. Pat came the reply- “Don’t scare me off. Allahabad hasn’t come yet. Train is running 5 hours late”. Oh my God.... Her words struck my ear again and again and again, went to the door and came reflecting back to me once more. Now, this was the perfect situation for the “Saas-Bahu” serial style, where your face is shown umpteen times with different camera angles. Dhideeng...dhideeng....(the sound they make every time camera rotates) One more time... the front view... Frick!!! Frick!!! Frick!!! I can’t handle more of this. God is never kind to me. I cursed Bangalore, Sanghamitra Express, Indian Railways, Laloo, Manmohan Singh, UPA Government. I would have reached George Bush if that voice wouldn’t have interrupted my thought chain. “I enjoy my call centre job. It takes me two and half hours to reach my office. But that is the best part of it. We do so much masti on our way. I’m total workaholic. Our team leader kept on insisting me to take leave but I can’t even think of a day without work. So, they forced me to take leave for one month. In Kuwait, I wasn’t like this. Life there was very dull and boring. Oh! I don’t look like a foreign returned na? Everyone says so..." Where is this babbling coming from? Am I hallucinating? I looked here and there, only to find Allahabad wali aunty (She would have killed me for calling her aunty) is staring at me, as if why am I puzzled so much on her description. I gave a fake smile. And there she was.... She took it as compliment. Momentary interruption was not enough to dampen her spirits. And for next half an hour, my ears were all hers. I listened to all the crap in the world- her stay at Bangalore, Ulsoor lake, the novels she had read, her cousin’s wedding,...blah, blah, blah. Then only, I realised why Shahid Kapur was mad at Kareena in Jab We Met despite her cute and adorable talks. Ok...I’m not comparing Miss “My-mouth-produces-thousand-words-per-minute” with Kareena, but comparing the situation and listeners in both cases is somewhat just. Look-wise??umm...physique-wise??? But then, I didn’t have the option of frowning at her or worse, get down from the train. So, it was all borne by me. From the minute one, I knew this aunty jee has everything in the world to speak about. But, I was careful enough as I spent most of the sleeping or reading magazines. But now, as I was a bit depressed and seemed vulnerable, she fired all the ammo she had preserved for past two days. In between, she caught hold of all prospective prey- pantry boys, sweeper, laundry boy and all the co-passengers within five metre of her range. She wouldn’t have babbled for months (toughest thing in her life), if I had not fallen in her trap. So, here I was, bearing a permanent fake smile and curious to know everything she had to offer. Luckily, train stopped at one station. And, as usual I got down at platform. Someone told me Allahabad is some 30 minutes journey from here. I thanked God. Even when the train resumed, I preferred staying near the gate. When I came back, aunty jee was (or pretended to be) shocked. She laughed stupidly before saying- “I thought you missed the train at last station”, and continued laughing incessantly. Now!!! I have never heard a better joke in my life. Am I also supposed to laugh?? I wonder, has she ever heard of a word “silence” in her 25-35 years of life?? By God’s grace Allahabad came and all the peace on the earth dawned in our compartment. With minor hiccups in between, I reached Patna at 6:00 pm with 56 precious hours of my life wasted in this damn train journey. Even though my journey was eventful or uneventful..... whatever!!! who cares... I finally came out unhurt and in stable mental condition. But I wish, all of you get a co-passenger like the above mentioned aunty jee, at least once in your life, just for the sake of experience.